If you unfocus your eyes this page becomes a 3d image of a blurry 2d page

And yell at you with my voice and mouth.

Always remember there’s two sides to a story.  There’s often even more, like if the story is about a cube.

But sometimes it’s fun to drink more than you can swallow.

If you think about it harder than you should, a “dry spell” has a pretty disgusting connotation.

If my tolerance to idiocy drops in the slightest I’m going to have trouble maintaining our friendship.

Regardless of how awesome it sounds, I implore you not to use your new underwater camera to see what Coke looks like from the inside.

Maybe it’s just a generational thing, but the 90’s kicked this decade’s ass.

I’ll concede that Barney plays well with children only if you admit that, in general, it’s a bad idea to teach your kids to play with dinosaurs.

People probably wouldn’t hate you as much if you were prettier.

It’s not that I think you’re boring or anything, it’s just that your personality was designed by a minimalist.