And He’s Crude With The Nightstick As Well

The worst part about making love is the prison guard likes to watch.

Who knows who she was?

Of the countless hours I’ve spent with her, I still don’t know who she is.  She’s just words.

Come’ere

If I had a dime for every time you let me down, I would melt them into a spike and stab you with it.

OOP.Principles.Demeter

(Am.I.Making.You.Uncomfortable)?:;

This Indie Song Will Express To You How I Feel About Our Foreign Policy

What do you mean hipsters are psuedo-intellectual pricks that find any deviation from their subculture conformist and sheep-like?  It’s just that all us free-thinking geniuses like the exact same stuff.

I’m Just Not That Handy, Man

I inadvertently ruled out that my water heater is broken due to a gas leak by investigating it with a lighter.

Think Different… Well, Try Not To Think At All

It’s not that I think that Macs aren’t good computers, I just think their users aren’t good people.

Roll Hard Roll Deep

“Mayonnaise colored Benz, I push Miracle Whips.”  -Kanye West

Like a glove

You’re as cold as ice

Despite the occassional frostbite or death by exposure, I generally like the frigid cold; it reminds me of my ex.

Maybe We Should Look Into A Singleton Warming

Both as a hippie and as a programmer, I am very uncomfortable with Global Warming.

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